With the book, How to Rename Your Boat, John Vigor has concocted useful ceremonies, prayers, rituals, and curses for any boating superstitions you may have. I didn’t realize there are so many precautions that should be taken to avoid any negative superstitions from haunting you and your boat. This book is full of prayers and rituals that encourage safe and enjoyable voyages.I was particularly entertained by the section on curses. Specifically, I enjoyed the curses designed for powerboaters leaving large wakes. John Vigor’s feelings about these boaters are fairly clear with this “curse:”
Woe to you, thou beslubbering speedhog!
May your filters choke and your injectors freeze.
May every ill befalling a boat bring you to your knees.
May you run out of whiskey and ice cubes, too.
May there be no more pleasure for you and your crew.
May all your bronze tarnish and your varnish all flake.
May your batteries die and your propellers shake.
May your anchors drag and your bilges overflow.
May you rot in a hell where they make you go slow.
Curse you! Curse you! My curse upon you wherever you go.
There are no laws stating that you cannot rename your boat. However, it is believed to bring bad luck to boaters who rename their boats without first completing the proper de-naming ceremony. Since you don’t want to take chances when it comes to bad luck, you should be willing to go through the proper steps or any type of ceremony when it comes to your boat. After all, it’s a big ocean out there.This book was written specifically to assist you with renaming your boat along with curing any other types of boating superstitions you may have. Even if you’re not a superstitious person now, you might become one once something bad happens to you in those unknown waters because you didn’t take the time to follow through with proper ceremonial procedures as discussed in John’s book. I recommend keeping a copy of this book aboard your boat. You never know when you’ll need to pray for wind, have a ceremony to bury a dead body at sea, cast a curse on an obnoxious powerboater, or simply need a good laugh.
How to Rename Your Boat and 19 Other Useful Ceremonies, Superstitions, Prayers, Rituals, and Curses By John Vigor (Paradise Cay, 2004; 139 pages)